Things they don't tell you .......

It is that season of the year again when you step out of the house and see a pregnant woman. A friend of mine, who is herself in her third trimester, says she has the same experience these days. She sees Preggies everywhere as well and not just in the mirror or at the hospital. So I know it’s not my eyes. In my close acquaintance, there are two more women who are all set to deliver in a month or two. Come to think of it, last year this time, yours truly was very pregnant as well. Does this point towards an annual spurt ( no pun intended) in procreative activities around September-December ?

While everybody claims to know that a baby is a lot of work, there are many things they don’t tell you in prenatal classes and pregnancy guides. For instance, how many of you to-be-mothers know that motherhood gives you the unique opportunity of seeing all hours of the day and night? One-thirteen, Two forty-seven, Five Fifty-two, Three twenty four ( all AM, mind you) , you see all of them when your bundle of joy arrives. If you have an active toddler at home along with your newborn, like my friend Rakhee does, you’ll see the same hours in day time as well (PM, this time around). Roundabout the time I was beginning to stay awake at odd hours, my mom-in-law comforted me that this erratic non-routine will only last for three months until the baby acclimatizes with its environment. The thoughts racing in my head were “ Three months ?? As in three times thirty days??? As in three times thirty times twenty four times sixty times sixty seconds ??????????”. There is a lesson here as well, ladies. You may think you won’t be able to do it. But you will.

Lesson two. How many of you know that for a long time after the baby gets home you’ll be sleeping with a light on ? In the beginning it’s futile switching it off as the moment you do, the baby will start to cry and you’ll have to investigate. Can’t do that with lights off, can you? Aditi had a nasty habit of regurgitating through her nose after a feed. Not always , but often enough for me to get up panicking after a couple of winks to check on her. Now, even though she has gotten over that phase, there’s a zero watt bulb glowing peaceably in the dark while we sleep. Oh, by now we could sleep even if our bedroom were to be lit like a submarine.

Lesson three. How many of you have been told you’ll have no use for the undergarments you are using now and will have to shop for new ,BIGGER ones ? Ones that’ll look strange while you lie them out to dry on the clothesline in your bathroom. At a quick glance, you may mistake them to be your mom’s before realisation strikes that you’ve beaten your mom in dimensions. And, that ladies, is not such a pleasant realization. On a recent shopping expedition to buy a ‘healthy’ range of undergarments, I saw a Bridal Range of my favourite brand . Out of habit, I asked to see it. The sales girl almost snorted at me and said, “Not your size. The biggest here are one size smaller”. I walked away with my hammocks ( yeah, aditi could use them as hammocks) with all the dignity I could muster.

Lesson four. Most of you would know this. That there’s really no place for passion when there’s an infant sleeping next to you. If there is a sudden attack, you either postpone passion for a more opportune time ( like when the grandparents come visiting and want the little one with them day and night) or get on with it pronto. You may not have the time or opportunity to let passion run its entire course.

All the same, Lesson Five is that it is superfantabuloustic to have your baby around. Tiring, exhausting it may be. But like my sister-in-law says, it is an “unparalleled privilege”. To have to stay awake day in and day out, to have to wear tents and hammocks instead of normal underclothes, to sleep with a light beating in your eyes.

Ladies, I’m not being sarcastic. Lesson Five is what this blog is all about.